Reflections about my mom at 93

Mom and Sisters Pat and Marilyn

I returned from North Carolina and drove out to visit my dear mother who turned 93 in January. She has been in decline for the past few years and sometimes we (my sisters and me) can’t wake her. But when I saw her this morning she did say a couple of words: “I don’t have any money”, “you are so cute…mm-m-m” and mumbled a few other things which I feel were sensible to her, but difficult for us to understand.

My mother gets a daily shower, hair washed too.  She’s well taken care of as hospice has given her a wonderful bed that massages her, and she gets a fresh fruit smoothie every morning with protein powder. Fanny, who owns the home where my mother stays, gives my mom a lot of personal time.  Plus she has a hospice helper come in each day who will read to her, massage her or rub oils on her arms and legs to keep her skin moisturized. My sisters, Pat and Marilyn, see her several times a week. It is a little harder for me since I live several hours away.

So dear ones, I just wanted to leave you with some thoughts that are encouraging.  Aging is a mystery to me.  Why is my mother sitting in someone else’s home?  Why is this woman who cared for me for so many years, made my clothes, taught me my times-tables and scolded me for my temper lost to me?  She doesn’t hear me any more.  Where did she go? I have lost her over the years a little bit at a time.  At first I was puzzled.  Then I became frustrated.  I wasn’t ready for this decline. As understanding began to emerge I realized there was little time left for my mother and me to share in any meaningful conversations.  Time kept slipping by and slowly she began to disappear. I saw her struggling with the knowledge that she was declining.  One day she said to me…”I can’t find myself; where did I go?”

Mother would not have wanted to be in her current situation.  None of us would want that for our loved ones or ourselves.  My comfort is found in the loving words of Jesus.  He will never leave us or forsake us. He has my mother in his care.  Her days have been numbered as He says in the Scriptures.  While I don’t understand His timing, I rest assured that she is in His care. Without that hope there would be despair.  So I thank God that mother has that hope.  She has said that she wants to leave and be with Jesus.  That is my prayer for my dear mother.


3 thoughts on “Reflections about my mom at 93

  1. Thank you for the God-focused encouragement, Sharon. I’ve just flown across the ocean to visit my mother who’s 89. I so want to love her well but I fall short way too often. I’ll carry your reflection about your Mom in my heart as I make my way toward my Mom, and will seek to look at her more than even with her loving Father’s eyes.

    1. Hi Elizabeth,
      It was so nice to hear from you. My sweet mother is still in hospice care. Our daughter and 2 grandchildren visited her yesterday and she loves to see children. Her eyes light up and she smiles. Her words are difficult to understand but they did hear the words, heaven, father and money. She was able to kiss and hug them.They told her they would be back to see her the next day (on their way home from the desert). They were partway out of Palm Springs when Cayden remembered that they told grandma that they would visit. He insisted they turn around and go back to her place. His comment was ‘what if she died and we hadn’t seen her that last time’. Our grandson, Cayden, felt so sad after the visit. He didn’t want to miss seeing her once again.
      While I’m happy for those moments when she is delighted to see the children and they have a chance to show love to their aging great grandmother I yearn for the day when mother is transported into the presence of Jesus.
      We must love while we can and we must love well. Like you I want to love my mother well.

  2. Nana,
    That was a beautiful letter. I think it gives us all hope that no matter how hard something is or how much we do not understand it God has a plan. And a good one, one that will bring us hope and a future. Thank the Lord that life is not up to us.

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