I returned from North Carolina and drove out to visit my dear mother who turned 93 in January. She has been in decline for the past few years and sometimes we (my sisters and me) can’t wake her. But when I saw her this morning she did say a couple of words: “I don’t have any money”, “you are so cute…mm-m-m” and mumbled a few other things which I feel were sensible to her, but difficult for us to understand.
My mother gets a daily shower, hair washed too. She’s well taken care of as hospice has given her a wonderful bed that massages her, and she gets a fresh fruit smoothie every morning with protein powder. Fanny, who owns the home where my mother stays, gives my mom a lot of personal time. Plus she has a hospice helper come in each day who will read to her, massage her or rub oils on her arms and legs to keep her skin moisturized. My sisters, Pat and Marilyn, see her several times a week. It is a little harder for me since I live several hours away.
So dear ones, I just wanted to leave you with some thoughts that are encouraging. Aging is a mystery to me. Why is my mother sitting in someone else’s home? Why is this woman who cared for me for so many years, made my clothes, taught me my times-tables and scolded me for my temper lost to me? She doesn’t hear me any more. Where did she go? I have lost her over the years a little bit at a time. At first I was puzzled. Then I became frustrated. I wasn’t ready for this decline. As understanding began to emerge I realized there was little time left for my mother and me to share in any meaningful conversations. Time kept slipping by and slowly she began to disappear. I saw her struggling with the knowledge that she was declining. One day she said to me…”I can’t find myself; where did I go?”
Mother would not have wanted to be in her current situation. None of us would want that for our loved ones or ourselves. My comfort is found in the loving words of Jesus. He will never leave us or forsake us. He has my mother in his care. Her days have been numbered as He says in the Scriptures. While I don’t understand His timing, I rest assured that she is in His care. Without that hope there would be despair. So I thank God that mother has that hope. She has said that she wants to leave and be with Jesus. That is my prayer for my dear mother.